I was feeling like shit...

But this made my day.

Consume You

Today, Lady Gaga's piano burst into a fiery explosion of doom and Adam Lambert made out with a guy.

Yaaaaaaaaawn.

Here's my wishlist. I love these shits.

Oral-B ProfessionalCare SmartSeries 4000

Yeah, that's right. I want a toothbrush. This does not make me a square. It makes me hygienic. Fuck you! Oral health rules!

Mindrite Lil' Wayne Cake Dress

True story: I had a huge, huge crush on Lil' Wayne back in the day (i.e: high school). I willingly announced this and it was scoffed as me being a nutter. Dude procreates more than a Old Testament character, so I feel okay in saying that. Someone else finds him sexy. Until the time I end up in his tour bus (which is never), I'm just going to wear this rad shirt. He's holding cake! For Christ's sake, this shirt is fucking rad! It makes Threadless look like bargain bin Dollar Tree. Which is pretty cool. I guess a better analogy is...well, I can't think of an analogy. I have homework.

A-Morir by Kerin Rose Sunglasses

I know these are utterly impractical. I know I might get a few weird looks wearing them. And you know what? I don't give a shit. I have always envisioned myself dressing like a neo-Goth queen of the 23rd Century, ruling with my leather half-gloves and all black ensemble. This only adds to my cerebral fantasy.

And I definitely still want that Nikon D40. The boyfriend is a far better photographer than I, but still. I want a camera, and that is that.

The depressive funk is coming back. I think it has a lot to do with stress, coming in from everywhere. It's suffocating and cloying, but I can't really do anything about it. I am combating it with video games and excessive drinking (which, for me, is equivalent to more than two glasses of wine or two shots...I am a big time lightweight). I am currently sipping on a really cheap Yellowtail and attempting not to get too weepy. I think I'm going to go to Wal Mart and combat this.

Afternoon, all.

RIP DAUL KIM

Missed.

AHHHHHHHHHHH.

I'm stressed.
I'm super stressed.

I think I'm just a miscreant but it has somewhat grated on my nerves that, even as we get older, we think it's okay to keep traditions that are otherwise unacceptable. Case in point, intimidation or cruelty. Why? If you don't like it, don't repeat those mistakes.

Another thing is that I don't have a book I need to read for class and I'm super far behind in my classes. I feel like crying.

One of my teachers is the most arbitrary graders I have ever dealt with.

I have an interview that I'm super nervous for.

I am so far behind on everything.

I can't take this.

I'm going to rip out someone's skull, pour whiskey inside the eye sockets and set it on fire, waving it around as I run about naked save for a loincloth.

Maybe not.

P.S. Bud, if you're reading this, I got cho email, want to respond, but can't BECAUSE MAH EMAIL FAILS.

P.P.S. sob sob whine whine sob

The Sex

I guess, in all fairness, I should explain. But I don't really feel like it. I'm just trying to afford working. All I can say is that I really need to evaluate the way I dress and my odd tendency to be ok with being naked in front of strangers. It's weird.

Post-teen slut.

I may be getting a cat soon. Yay!

Eat my Dick, Holidays

Really? Christmas advertising already? Fuck me.
Whilst I begin to rant, you may want to sit down. This won't take long. I have spanish in 45 minutes, so I'll make this quick.
FUCK CHRISTMAS ADVERTISING.
Take note that I'm not criticizing Christmas itself or the holidays in general. But the moment Halloween is over, it's like a Christmas bonanza. Mid-October, whilst buying myself some Sudafed for a cold and my meth lab, I noticed that the front of my Wal-mart was already bedecked in ornaments, wreaths and lights. What is going on? Have we really gotten this desperate? If it's already not bad enough, K-Mart is harping on our economic vulnerability and doing this layaway bullshit. It's not a fucking kitchen installation, it's too many toys for your stupid brats. Way too many.
Maybe it comes from my Muslim upbringing, but I can't stand the materialism of the holidays. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE getting gifts. Almost more than I like myself. But this is ridiculous. It's almost excessive.

So, in response, I am sending out my invitation for my Satanic party. If you even THINK of bringing a gift or some modicum of holiday joy, we're spiking your cup with Nyquil and carrying your body out to the middle of the landfill.

I can't even say Happy Holidays. For fuck's sake, it's early November. Jesus.

In search of something better than us

J. Crew cardigan, American Apparel tank top, Forever 21 sunglasses, New Orleans voodoo cell phone charm named Mr. Big Lips

I have an exam coming up so this post is just a way for me to get out some tension before I start again.


I miss my friends. So many of them are so far away. If you have read any previous posts circa May, you know my best friend in the world, an amalgamation of myself, Zoe, has left me for school in Germany. It's for the best, but it still makes me sad.


Teddy is still here so I'm cool with that.


Jonathon is in Paris, but I miss him so.


Richard is all the way in Japan. I went to Stein's with some friends and could only muster the energy to get a soda. It made me sad to go without him.


Janis is gone in Paris too. So is Cedric. Mary Alice and Steffani. Margaret. Katie Luer, one of my closest and dearest friends. Katie Hart will be in Paris so I won't see her soon. Elizabeth and Hannah are gone. Shelby is in D.C. (but at least can visit). Erica is gone. Lynette is suffering at Vandy. Karim is having a good time in Vandy.


The funny part is, to the casual reader, these names don't really amount to much. To me, they're people I've grown a little too attached to.


I miss you all. I probably forgot names, but it's 7 in the morning. You know I miss you.